Archive David Gentle info and blogdex

Saturday, August 19, 2000

Wow! The screaming of the emasculated men in "Travelling Knockvurst Extravaganza" has drowned out Pillory's wailing! What a cool show! I think the radical feminists are about to try and make a Ju Ju out of all the cocks they've collected. Lets hope the use it's phalic power to take over the world!
posted by David Gentle 8/19/2000

Pillory is hiding under the bed. Again. he's taken my collection of emaciated crows and appears to be sucking them for "comfort". Flirtsomely tried to coax him out by offering him ice cream but that didn't work. Bratulith tried to coax him with promises of sexual favours but that just made him start this sort of bizarre moaning noise. Like of you took a dog and tied it's legs to a belt sander or something. It's just not fair. I want my crows back. And you have no idea how unerotic it can be to have sex on a bed that has a bizarre, moaning psychotic underneath it.
posted by David Gentle 8/19/2000

Pillory came over today. He. Just. Whines. "Oh the world is going to end." "Oh some other shit." He was even suggesting that weblogs, the greatest force for freedom ever, are just "a lot of ranting crap". Pillory Masterate: no.
posted by David Gentle 8/19/2000

WOW! That new TV show is the best EVER! Clowns! African magic! Penis cutting! Travelling Knockvurst Extravaganza may be the best thing ever.
posted by David Gentle 8/19/2000

Wednesday, August 16, 2000

I find it difficult to venture into the garden when the neighbours are out. The temptation to shoot them is very high. I lust after their blood. I want to stick my tongue in the bullet holes. But that doesn't make me a bad person. I know that I'm good at heart and that Jesus loves me.
posted by David Gentle 8/16/2000

Wow, today I was watching "Relativaty". It's the best TV ever, except for my other 5 faves. When that guy shot his Mom in the arse I made a sort of high pitched squealing sound so loud that the lights went on!
posted by David Gentle 8/16/2000

Why? I have to disagree with your assertion. Simplicity is great!
posted by David Gentle 8/16/2000

No, Mr Thrifty. I think "UUUH, UUUH, UUUH" is a great work of TV art.
posted by David Gentle 8/16/2000

Tuesday, August 15, 2000

Yeah, but Johan, I can't see that triffle from here.
posted by David Gentle 8/15/2000

Monday, August 14, 2000

I see that everybody else is getting readers. Why can't I have some. I know that my thoughts are on a higher level than yours, but really! Flirtsomely has been a great houseguest. She's even managed to keep away from all the phalic objects in the house. She started complaining to me last night though. "I've got no internal life", she said. "I don't really function as a character". "That's okay, neither do any of my other friends", I said. "Oh, okay then", she said with a gracious smile. And then she sucked me off!
posted by David Gentle 8/14/2000

Sunday, August 13, 2000

Oh no! Bratulith has been sued! The makers of TVGOHome are claiming that he has based his entire personality on Nathan Barley, some character on their website! Bratulith is understandably pissed off. "I only looked at the site a few times ages ago", he said. I asked him whether that was before his new style emerged but he didn't answer. He just started talking on the cell phone with his pal about ice cream and puns.
posted by David Gentle 8/13/2000

I just read this review of "The Dog Like Puke". See what you think:
"The Dog Like Puke

Prod: Slotio Flotiola

In the beginning they tried to make TV that entertained people and it worked. But slowly people wanted more and more, and then they wanted less and less. And now the most obvious concrete manifestation of this trend, the final step in the path of corruption and depravity is this. It begins each week as the story of an inept sailor making his way to buy a bacon sandwiche. He meets, and imagines naked, a number of women. For some reason that isn't explained all the women have dogs. So far so tasteful. But what happens next is distasteful in the extreme. He invites them back to his flat, where he commands them to help him make their dogs vomit into a bag which he keeps under his bed "for his daughter's special medicine". If they refuse they are forced with various utensils to comply. I need not mention the shocking scenes of lesbianism and bestiality between his daughter and the women/dogs. The degree of detail in the camerawork, while admirable in any other production, is, in this case, unwarranted.
It would be almost excusable if this where some experimental Channel 4 one off but this is the 13th identical episode so far. What has the viewing public been reduced to? Simple couch potatoes? Do they ask for no more than this sick puerile filth?
When I started doing this job I had high hopes for the future but now I can see only deeper depths of monotonous excrement. The quality of TV has declined so much that I no longer want to live. Goodbye.
Chester Lobesard R.I.P."
Is it just me, or is this guy harshing "The dog Like Puke" a bit overly muchly? I think it rocks! It's got so much cool stuff and the girl on dog scences are cool and stuff! I guess I must be directly in the target audience! What does anyone else think?
posted by David Gentle 8/13/2000

There were these people. All standing on the pavement. They were all facing the same direction. I asked Flirtsomely (she was with me because...well it's getting a little uncomfortable to discuss this sort of private matter, maybe later) what they were doing and she said: "they are queuing for a bus". It took a little while for her to explain that to me. Why don't they just get cars! Or elephants!
posted by David Gentle 8/13/2000

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